Touring the Tower
A tour group stopped at the Tower of London, and were given the chance to try out some of the ancient armour. Two men - one from Prague and another from Athens took up the opportunity. One donned a slightly damaged suit of plate armor and the other chain-mail, while the rest of the group crowded around. But in the full suits, the onlookers couldn't tell one from the other. "Is that the Czech wearing the plate armour?" asked one tourist. "No," replied another, "The Greek has the broken plate, and the Czech is in the mail."
Roman Rollers
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game. The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor. They were the first roller coasters. Back in those days, the disks were made of iron, and they would bet on whose disk would roll the farthest. They called them ferrous wheels.
The Angry King
Once, long ago, a king summoned all his provincial rulers to his castle. He was in a rather belligerent mood, and wanted to scare them into giving him extra taxes. Unknown to him, they met in secret on the way, and decided that they should agree to pay the extra, but they would at first pretend to refuse, so they could try to bargain down the actual amount extra they would have to pay.
They arrived at the king's castle, and gathered in the audience chamber. The king made his demands, and as agreed, they started to refuse. Unfortunately, they hadn't realized just how belligerent the king's mood was: as soon as they started to refuse, he got angry, and ordered his guards to kill them on the spot.
More than half of them were slain before they even realized what was happening, and the others had to do some very quick groveling to survive. After everything had settled down, those who remained explained to the king their plan, and the king was filled with remorse for his hasty actions.
The moral of the story?
- Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.
The King's Pizza
One day (just before Christmas, probably), Good King Wenceslas decided that he was fed up with the food at the palace, so he phoned up his local Italian restaurant for a takeaway pizza. "Certainly, your Majesty" says the Manager, "Would you like your usual"? "Yes please," replied the King, "same as always - deep pan, crisp and even"
Happy April Fools Day!
A tour group stopped at the Tower of London, and were given the chance to try out some of the ancient armour. Two men - one from Prague and another from Athens took up the opportunity. One donned a slightly damaged suit of plate armor and the other chain-mail, while the rest of the group crowded around. But in the full suits, the onlookers couldn't tell one from the other. "Is that the Czech wearing the plate armour?" asked one tourist. "No," replied another, "The Greek has the broken plate, and the Czech is in the mail."
Roman Rollers
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game. The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor. They were the first roller coasters. Back in those days, the disks were made of iron, and they would bet on whose disk would roll the farthest. They called them ferrous wheels.
The Angry King
Once, long ago, a king summoned all his provincial rulers to his castle. He was in a rather belligerent mood, and wanted to scare them into giving him extra taxes. Unknown to him, they met in secret on the way, and decided that they should agree to pay the extra, but they would at first pretend to refuse, so they could try to bargain down the actual amount extra they would have to pay.
They arrived at the king's castle, and gathered in the audience chamber. The king made his demands, and as agreed, they started to refuse. Unfortunately, they hadn't realized just how belligerent the king's mood was: as soon as they started to refuse, he got angry, and ordered his guards to kill them on the spot.
More than half of them were slain before they even realized what was happening, and the others had to do some very quick groveling to survive. After everything had settled down, those who remained explained to the king their plan, and the king was filled with remorse for his hasty actions.
The moral of the story?
- Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.
The King's Pizza
One day (just before Christmas, probably), Good King Wenceslas decided that he was fed up with the food at the palace, so he phoned up his local Italian restaurant for a takeaway pizza. "Certainly, your Majesty" says the Manager, "Would you like your usual"? "Yes please," replied the King, "same as always - deep pan, crisp and even"
Happy April Fools Day!
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Phoenix
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